elderly parents….

It smacks you straight into reality some days.

I’m not a little kid anymore. That gets proven every time I see my parents.

They’re now elderly.

This isn’t a blog post to diss my parents. It’s a blog post to discuss the realities of children dealing with their elderly parents. It’s life. The blessing of time.

I don’t know when the reality first hit me that my parents were now elderly. Was it when I chauffeured my mom to her eye doctor appointment after her cataract surgery? Nah. Was it while I was sitting in the heart surgeon’s office discussing bypass surgery for my dad? Not then either.

It was while sitting in the internist’s office, demanding that a month-old infected gash on my dad’s leg be handled now. They had been to doctors upon doctors for a month. I could see Dad was getting sicker and knew there would be no end in site unless something miraculous happened. A friend in a wheelchair was shocked that wound care at the local hospital hadn’t cultured it yet. (He has many dealings with them. Many.) I felt compelled to take the day off work to demand action on my dad’s behalf-including getting him to wound care at the local hospital.

Needless to say, he was hospitalized that day. I even asked the doctor to have wound care culture the gash, which he agreed to.

This was a nasty infection that kept my dad in the hospital 10 days! I know that if I wouldn’t have taken a sick day from work to go with them that he would be dead now. I know it. I feel it.

That was the point when I realized that I have elderly parents-whom society doesn’t take seriously. It’s sad.

It’s sad that we, their children, have to sometimes force society to take notice of them to get necessary steps done. It’s tiring. It’s exhausting.

It can be a privilege though also. My parents are still here. I am needed.

I am blessed.

Frustrated as hell some days, but still blessed.

kids and Facebook….

I was pleasantly surprised to get a friend request a few days ago from a 15-year-old relative. Her 12-year-old sister followed suit a few days later. (Their father became a dad at 50, which means I’m old enough to be their mom.)

I don’t speak to these young relatives much , so I was surprised, yet happy that they took the time to find me online. They’ve also taught me a thing or 2 about how parents should monitor their kids online activities.

I did look at the first teenage relative’s pictures as soon as I accepted her friend request. I marveled at how gorgeous she is, which certainly was much different from how I looked in high school! Something told me to go a little further though after seeing her pictures. I wanted to look at her friends list.

I would have started deleting if I were her mom. The first thing I noticed as I scrolled through it was that neither Mom nor Dad are their Facebook friends, even though Mom has an account. (Their 20-something year old half siblings have friended them, but come on. They’re not going to be as anal as me-or a parent.) Who’s watching them?!

The next thing I noticed on my 15-year-old relative’s friend list was that she had friended older men. One looked like the dad of her friend, others looked like gross, cheesy dudes while another just flat out scared me. I’m not her parent and don’t speak with her that often, so I feel uncomfortable telling her to unfriend anyone right now. Her father can though-and the email I sent him lets him know that.

It’s amazing that even though I’m not a parent that I can see a few things. You can’t turn a blind eye to what your children are doing online! You need their passwords, you need to friend them on Facebook, you need to know!   Anything else potentially puts them in danger!

Their father hasn’t gotten back to me yet, so he honestly may not know that they connected with me. Don’t get me wrong, they are good parents. Are they watching their kids online activities, though?

I shouldn’t feel compelled to.

Day 24: My family dynamic-childhood vs. now

HOOOO BOY! Not like this isn’t getting personal! A lot has obviously changed about my family dynamic since childhood.

People get older. Seasons of life change. People come into your life. People leave your life.  The same is true of family. A lot of people in this photo have gone on to their great reward. Said house where we held these get-togethers has also been sold for many, many years. A lot of people in this photo have also passed on, including some who are just a tad bit older than me.

I’d have to say that my family dynamic of childhood is best spelled out in the above picture. It was spent with family. We grew up near family and spent every summer in this backyard celebrating the life of the patriarch. Our grandparents babysat my sister and I frequently. We saw each other frequently. We knew each other.

And then….

The seasons of life take place. People become stronger. People also pass away. Sometimes you realize that family can take the form of friends. Sometimes family are friends.

Don’t get me wrong. I still see my family and connect with them on Facebook, but I feel it’s a healthier relationship than when I was a kid. It’s by choice. It’s freedom, which all family needs in their relationships with each other.

My dad and a cousin’s husband chatting. The respect he has for my dad is heart warming.

It’s a freedom that has cousins inviting you to stay with them if you ever visit them out of state. It’s a freedom that brings joy.

Freedom, family…. It’s synonymous.

Birthday card for Dad

My dad’s 77th birthday is coming up, so I had to go through my humongous stash of cards to see what I had for him that was appropriately guyish enough.

I used to sell cards at craft shows before the economy hit, so I have enough birthday cards to last me for quite awhile!  Did I mention I have a lot of cards? There is absolutely no sense in me making another one with the stack I already have on hand. And so….

I ended up choosing this card for him. With all the cards I have with pink being the dominant color, this is the only one I have that doesn’t scream polka dots or pink. Gotta love my Fiskars deckled edge scissors and puffy stickers from Michael’s. Yay to hoarded supplies from ages ago! :)

inside said card

And so, Happy Birthday to my dad! I look forward to celebrating at Black Angus! :)

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